• Essential to any successful relationship
– God communicates to us through His Son,
Heb 1:1-2; Acts 20:32
– Children of God communicate with their heavenly
Father in prayer, Matt 6:9
– Parents and children must communicate, Eph 6:4
– Husbands and wives must communicate to
strengthen their marriages, Eph 5:33
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3
Begin taking each other for granted
– Love does not assume or take for granted;
it cherishes and delights in the one it loves,
cf. SS 2:3; 3:1-4
– World says “familiarity breeds contempt”
– God says get familiar and stay that way!
Gen 2:21-23 (18)
4
They want to avoid a confrontation
– Past conflict can prevent present
communication, Prov 21:9, 19
– We convince ourselves of failure before
we really try…
• Negative: “It won’t do any good anyway!”
• Speaking with grace (seasoned with salt)
is good, Col 4:6
5
• Break the cycle of conflict,
silence and avoidance
TOPIC
– Soft answer, Prov 15:1-2
– Stop and start, Prov 20:3;
Avoid
Conflict
Matt 5:23-24
– Commit to listening, Jas 1:19
Silence
– Remove anger, Prov 15:18
(29:22)
– Always think the best, 1 Cor 13:5
6
They are obsessed with their own
interests, 1 Cor 13:5
– Sin of selfishness (no self-control),
2 Tim 3:3; Gal 5:23; Phil 2:4
• How we spend our time and money, and
where we put our interest equates to what
we value and where we put our devotion
• Careful of priorities, Lk 12:15; Matt 16:26
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They are obsessed with their own
interests, 1 Cor 13:5
– Husband whose first concern is his own
satisfaction is not following Christ,
Eph 5:25 (1 Tim 5:8)
– Wife whose first concern is her own
pleasure is not following Christ, Eph 5:22,
24 (Prov 31:27)
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They are obsessed with their own
interests, 1 Cor 13:5
– SOLUTION: A concerted effort to be
interested in what interests your spouse,
Eccl 4:9-12
• You may (probably do) have different
interests…but still do things together!
• Nurture your common faith, common love,
common hopes, common devotion
9
They think they are being manipulated
by the other, Eph 5:33
• Why does a husband feel manipulated?
• Maybe because he is! Silenced by
a domineering wife, 1 Pet 3:3-6
• Maybe he is not leading firmly,
decisively and consistently,
1 Pet 3:6
10
They think they are being manipulated
by the other, Eph 5:33
• Why does a wife feel manipulated?
• Maybe because she is by a husband who
only shows interest in her when he wants
something for himself! 1 Pet 3:7
• Leads to resentment, mistrust and animosity
• Communication is sharing – not controlling,
Rom 12:10
11
They think they are too busy, Eph 5:16
• Communication requires a time commitment
• “No time” can become excuse for closed hearts
• We take time to play, watch TV, video game,
ride a bike, read a book, computer, etc.
• Must make time to attend to our marriages
• Don’t be a Martha! Lk 10:38-42
12
They don’t want to hurt the other
person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23
• Do you want to help your spouse?
• Are you willing to accept help from your
spouse – even when it exposes your
shortcoming (or even sin)?
• Humble hearts are required to give and to
receive rebuke, correction, etc. Rom 12:16
13
They don’t want to hurt the other
person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23
• SOLUTION: We must help each other know
that we always have their best interest at
heart, Eph 5:26-27
• GOAL: Strengthen each other and help
one another serve Jesus Christ and go to
heaven!
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Marriage without communication
is like a car without fuel…
Won’t go far …sputter and die!
Rom 12:9-13, 16: Build Marriage…
 Sincerity and goodness (9)
 Kind affection and honoring preference (10)
 Diligent service (11)
 Joyful hope, patient steadfastness & prayer (12)
 Sympathetic giving and unity of mind (13, 16)
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