Hoos in the House?
The people you spend time with impact your well-being. They can bring out your best, make you feel good about
yourself, and support you in becoming the person you want to be. You also have an opportunity to make the UVa
community the safest, most supportive environment possible by checking in to make sure others are okay.
What can healthy friendships and
romantic relationships look like?
• Feeling good about oneself with the other person
• Respecting each other’s feelings, opinions, and interests
• Mutual understanding, encouragement, and appreciation
• Celebrating each other’s strengths and accepting weaknesses
• Dealing with change and conflict in constructive ways
• Apologizing when wrong
O
O
H
KNEW ?
• Maintaining relationships with other friends and family too
Healthy relationships vary depending on culture and other factors. This isn’t a
checklist – just some suggestions.
Conflict is a normal part of relationships, and even healthy relationships take
work.
92.5% of UVa students
intervene when they
notice a problem
situation.*
Causes
t a Friend
When You’re Worried Abou
ionship,
about a friend’s relat
If you feel concerned
er and check in:
mfortable) and
be an active bystand
them feel safe and co
e
ak
(m
d
ien
fr
ur
yo
• Focus on supporting
vior.
their choices or beha
“I am here
avoid arguing about
for your safet y” and
d
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er
nc
co
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ed ___ an
• Say things like, “I’ve notic
the future.”
in
or
w
no
n’t you see they
to support you
ld dump them!” or “Ca
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“Yo
,
like
,
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en
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unheard or
• Avoid judgmental sta
ake your friend feel
m
t
igh
m
ich
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?”,
gh
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don’t treat you well
.
defensive
try this:
perienced violence,
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ay
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ien
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If you think a
you care).
n’t share, they know
do
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th
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en
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• Ask what’s wron
t alone.
re them they are no
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,
em
th
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ss of a situation.
• Listen, believ
playing the seriousne
wn
do
or
gs
elin
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• Avoid minimizing th
support (see below).
to get professional
u aren’t 100% sure).
• Encourage them
nger , call 911 (even if yo
da
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iat
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m
im
in
is
ne
• If you think someo
a
pportive friend, not
Your role is to be a su
u are
yo
an
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d needs more
counselor. If a frien
them
t
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nn
’s okay – help co
able to provide, that
fer
of
to
e
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care and cont
to other sources of
of
re
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whatever support yo
d, get
down about a frien
g
yourself, too. If feelin
ed.
the support you ne
for con
H
O
O
KN
EW ?
95.7% of UVa students
like when friends come
to them to talk about
their problems or
concerns.*
ce
rn: (eve
• Feelin
n just o
g less c
ne o f t
onf ide
hese)
the ot
nt or li
her pe
k ing on
rson
eself le
ss with
• W hen s
omeon
e is con
partne
tr
r
friend’s down in fron olling, puts th
t of ot
eir frie
or par
hers, o
nd or
tner’s
and fr
r limits
relatio
iends
their
nships
with fa
• W hen s
mily
omeon
e
violenc
e, or br makes thre
ats, us
eaks t
es forc
hings
• W hen s
e or
omeon
e mak
at tem
es repe
pts to
a
contac
t some ted , unwante
d
one els
If a frie
e
n
unhea dship or rom
lth
an
suppor y, you are fre tic relations
t for d
hip fee
ls
eciding e to end it or
do not
to get
what t
need t
o do. Y
o feel g
care o
ou
uilt y fo
f yours
r tak in
elf.
g
Help establish po
sitive culture
nor ms at UVa!
Together
we can preven
t violence.
Sign up to at te
nd Green
Dot Bystander
Training at
notonourgroun
ds.virginia.edu/
.
Resources for You and Friends
Counseling and Psychological
Services (CAPS): Call to see how
CAPS can best support you.
Afterhours support available.
Office of the Dean of Students
(ODOS): Support with relationships,
concern for friends, or help resolving
potentially unsafe situations.
Maxine Platzer Lynn Women’s
Afterhours support available.
Center: Counseling plus gender
violence and social change
Sexual Violence Education & Resources:
programming.
virginia.edu/sexualviolence/ – Guidance for
Madison House HELP Line:
addressing relationship violence, including
(434) 295-TALK – No issue
emergency resources.
is too big or too small.
They’re here to listen.
* From the Spring 2015 Health Survey
with responses from 931 UVa students
Community Resources:
Sexual Assault Advocacy Fund:
(434) 327-1447 - Legal advocacy for
survivors of sexual assault.
Sexual Assault Resource Agency
(SARA): (434) 977-7273 – Free 24-hour
support for survivors.