Restoring Family Balance: one child, one teen, one family at a time. Seasons of Grief Newsletter The only people who think there’s a time limit for grief, have never lost a piece of their heart. Take ALL the time you need. S P R I N G 2 0 1 7 Page 2 Seasons of Grief Newsletter Executive Director Sheila Munafo-Kanoza Program Director ;Children & Teens Ann Marie Kahwaty-Bogan LISW, ACSW Executive Board President : William Kutcher Vice President : Ryan Butt Treasurer : Ryan Butt Secretary : Cheryl Borland Board of Directors Cheryl Borland Chris Winiarski Debbie Heidrich Jane Irwin Michael Smith Mike Munafo Tom Kanoza Advisory Anna Frantz, LISW Dr. Sharon Phillips, Psychologist John Dorger, M.Ed. Ret., School Psychologist Scott Gilliam Young Adult Ambassador Phillip Bryant S TORINA Teen Ambassador Rosie Bacon Editors: Winky Clements & Tom Kanoza Mission: Companions on a Journey’s mission is to provide ongoing support and life balance for the bereaved in families, schools, businesses and organizations, with faith, hope and love: one child, one teen, one adult, one family at a time. COJ is a faith based social service organization which provides bereavement support and educational services for children, teens and adults. COJ does not provide any counseling or related services which require a license under Chapter 4757 of the Ohio Revised Code. COJ is a section 501 (c)(3) organization. Spring 2017 Answering God’s Call By: Sheila Munafo-Kanoza Companions on a Journey Grief Support (COJ) is celebrating its 20th Year of r eaching out to those who grieve and mourn. God’s grace came to me in prayer shortly after my husband’s death when I asked God what I was to do with the rest of my life. I wanted my life to have purpose and meaning. God gave me the vision of one day having a Bereavement Center where children, teens, adults and families could come and find HOPE, STRENGTH and HEALING. I remember asking God “Bereavement”? What does that mean? I looked up the word in a dictionary, finding the ancient root includes “to be robbed”. Exactly how I felt after my husband’s death. My next prayer was asking our Lord to send me people who would companion with me to fulfill this vision. On August 24, 1994, on the one-year anniversary of my husband Vince’s death, I joined a grief support group at St. John’s where I met Tom Kanoza, a widower. Hearing Tom share his journey I remember thinking “Oh Lord, Tom is the male counterpart to the bereavement center”. Little did I know he would one day become my husband. Together we would raise 5 beautiful children and begin Companions on a Journey. For the next several years I traveled throughout the US learning the field of bereavement. In 1997, through prayer at church I asked God to give me the name this ministry was to be called. Within minutes I heard Him say “COMPANIONS ON A JOURNEY.” I said “Lord, if this name is from you please give me affirmation”. After twenty minutes of prayer mass began with the opening song “WE ARE COMPANIONS ON A JOURNEY”. I knew, without doubt, we were to be called Companions on a Journey Grief Support. Over the past 20 years our Lord has blessed Companions on a Journey. Incredible people have answered His call as Companions to children, teens, adults and families when their lives are forever changed by the death of a loved one. While each of our journeys are different it is through our losses we are united. When someone we love dies our lives are changed forever. As we become present to a person in their moment of need we illuminate Christ love. Continued on pg. 6 Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 3 Spring 2017 In Loving Memory of Margaret Kast (pictured sitting left at the signing making COJ a non-profit) Margaret’s daughter Kathy found this reading below in a devotional book at her mother’s home that read “please read this at my funeral”. What a Memorial to Margaret Kast and the legacy she has left. In Charles Spurgeon book “Morning and Evening”, for February 7th, he writes: “We are not called down to the grave, but up to the skies. Our heaven-born spirits should long for their native air, yet the celestial summons should be the object of patient waiting. Our God knows best when to bid us “Come up hither”. We must not hasten the period of our departure. I know that strong love will make us cry, O Lord of Hosts, the waves divide, And land us all in heaven. But patience must have her perfect work. God ordains with accurate wisdom the most fitting time for the redeemed to abide below. Surely, if there could be regrets in heaven, the saints might mourn that they did not live longer here to do more good. Oh, for more sheaves for my Lord’s garner more jewels for His crown! But how, unless there is more work? It is true that living so briefly, our sins are fewer; but oh, when we are fully serving God and He is giving us precious seed to scatter and to reap a hundredfold, we would even say it is well for us to remain where we are. Whether our Master says “go” or “stay”, let us be equally well pleased as long as He continues to bless us with His presence.” Margaret Kast came into my life through the power of the Holy Spirit and left by the Power of the Holy Spirit. Our souls connected when we met in 2000 through a Life in the Spirit Seminar. Margaret joined Companions on a Journey shortly after her husband’s death in 2007 and was a member of Companions on a Journey until 2011. Margaret was our inspiration, our mentor and our advocate. Margaret was one of our first board members. She became an Associate Director along with Linda Sullivan in 2007. Margaret assisted us in going into the schools working with bereaved children, teens and families of our community. In 2007 Margaret Kast, Linda Sullivan, Tom Kanoza, Steve Sullivan, Russ Pennavaria, and I worked together to take COJ on a Journey to the next level by making Companions on a Journey a faith based non-profit organization. This status was needed to help support our work in the schools. Margaret touched our lives with her love of the Lord and the Holy Spirit. She will be deeply missed and remembered. Respectfully & Lovingly Submitted by Sheila Munafo-Kanoza Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 4 Spring 2017 The Season of Moving Forward As we approach Spring and Daylight savings time what can you look forward to? Spring brings forth the birth of something new: babies, animals, flowers, ideas and lifestyles. Spring can give you a fresh look at the world and yourself. But to spring forward in your life you must have HOPE and confidence that there is something better. With hope we believe we can meet the challenges of “springing“ forward. For some that springing forward momentum might be to live a healthier life, while for others it might be to find a new job. No matter what, you can spring forward in your life! You may be thinking, now’s not the time. But even in your loss there is hope. God is hope. God can be seen in the many miracles of nature that we get to see in the Springtime. As you see the many splendors of life springing forth, take time to see God and reflect on His love for you, where you are right now. Grief can cause suffering that touches the very core of your soul. But you can have the HOPE that you can survive. You can have HOPE that there is something better. You may wonder why God lets certain things to happen. Even Jesus cried, “MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME!” (Mark 15:34). Jesus knew in the midst of His suffering he needed a helper. God sends help in many forms. Take time this Spring to see the beauty of God’s creation and reflect on yourself and the healing of your grief. Allow yourself to create a new ‘spring’ in your life and maybe even in your step. Allow God to help you. Creating Balance in our Grief Where to begin? Become present to the present moment, put yourself on your “to do” list. Grief requires us, at least for the short term, to put some of our needs first. Accept help from others. Taking care of your “grief needs” first can help others. How long will my grief last? Grief is a natural response to loss. Do not put a time frame on your grief and healing, nor should anyone else. No two people grieve the same. Grief is an ongoing journey. What tools can we us to balance our grief? Visualize a slinky, holding it in both hands. Try to balance it in both hands. This is what you need to do with your grief. Use the tools of breathing, loving, hoping, communicating, expressing feelings, laughing, crying, praying, journaling, and playing. Some additional tools are relying on faith, working at enjoying the moments you have with others, accepting help, joining a support group and remembering your memories. Continued on pg. 6 Take time to reflect and discover what can and will be new for you this Spring. Invite a friend or family member for a nice spring stroll in your favorite park. And it’s OK to talk about your loved one and some memories of Springs past. Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 5 Spring 2017 Volunteering With COJ By: Faith Nicolet My name is Faith Nicolet and I am one of Companions on a Journey’s newest team members. I come to COJ with life experience of early loss and a background in nursing, special needs teaching, and counseling. When I was 21 my mom died and within that week I finished my last final for college, my boyfriend left me, my dad developed mental health issues from the shock of my mom’s death, and I took over our family business. I really had no idea what effect so many multiple losses in such a short time had on me. I soldiered on as best I could. I built support systems around me without having any idea what that meant, I just knew I needed help for tasks and I needed people. I developed a strong faith. I developed a strong network of deep friendships that last to this day. I accomplished goals in front of me. I thought I had handled my grief just as I thought I had built a life for myself. It wasn’t until I lost a best friend later in life that every part of the loss of my mom and all the losses of that time came flooding back. I recognized right away the grief and loss feelings identical to those in my early life. Sorting through those feelings, naming them and owning them took a lot of work. I had no idea how many “dragons that I had hidden “under my staircase.” Seasons of Grief Newsletter That pinnacle event of losing that best friend caused all those dragons to come flooding out all at once in an overwhelming way. I had to identify and work through feelings of abandonment, rejection, fear, pride, control, shame, and blame that had been “stuffed”. “There was so much to balance and navigate through by a much younger me.” Companions on a Journey was there for me at that time. God led me to Sheila and a variety of other colleges, jobs, nonprofits, and seminars to learn what I needed to know. Working through multiple loss and then secondary loss has taught me a lot both in a textbook sense and in a life experience sense, and that knowledge and experience is what I take into the groups we facilitate and into the schools. It is a true passion of mine to help kids and I do it in a variety of ways in my life. We have hosted several Ukrainian orphans during various summers. I have been a youth ministry volunteer. I have been a leader in both Boy scouts and 4H. I tutor special needs students. I am a Whizkid volunteer. I am on the Board of and volunteer with several other organizations that benefit children. Nothing has been as rewarding or given me as much blessing as the work I have done with Companions on a Journey and the work we have done in the schools. Children who wouldn’t have access to guidance through their grief any other way are able to get help during their school day. They are able to witness that they are not alone in their loss. They are able to be comforted for one hour a month and know that someone else cares and lived through a similar loss. Companions on a Journey does amazing things in the schools, and I am able to change lives every day which is a blessing for me. www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 6 Spring 2017 Answering God’s Call Continued from pg. 2 COJ became a faith based non-profit organization in 2007 allowing us to expand our services that are free to the bereaved. Today COJ provides ongoing support to 32 schools, reaching 600+ students a month in grades K-12. We are truly there for the journey as we follow children through to graduations. Among the services offered by COJ are a Mending Hearts program for Grieving Children, evening teen and adult programs and Adult Grief -Specific Support Groups. Our scope of services reaches bereaved Parents, those affected by suicide, young widows, young adults and those suffering a perinatal/neonatal loss. We provide support through various grief groups, and we engage in crisis response, organize retreat days, and social outreach groups Companions on a Journey offices are located at 8857 Cincinnati Dayton Road, Suite 002 in West Chester Ohio. While we have a HUGE Heart, our space is only 523 square feet. It is our vison to one day have a bereavement center where children, teens, adults and families can come at any stage of their grief to find a companion at Companions on a Journey. It amazing to see how God allowed us to partner with Him, for out of our pain we have found our purpose and passion. He gave us New Life. God is Good! Seasons of Grief Newsletter Creating Balance in our Grief Continued from pg. 4 Can I achieve balance and how? YES. Our minds can be our greatest strength or greatest obstacle. The choice is yours. Begin by putting structure back into your life. Create a ‘to do’ list. Surround yourself with supportive people. Develop a daily routine that is comprised of old & new ideas. What do I do to help my children create balance? Recognize they are grieving also. Let them be part of the process of healing. Let them know they are loved. Return to routines as much as possible. Let them know their grief counts. Give them time to share memories of the person who died. Give them a safe place to express their feelings. How do we help others going through grief? By being present to them in this present moment. Instead of being distracted while seeing them or trying to change the way they feel, we help them best by listening—listening totally and not interrupting. We help them best by encouraging them toward achieving a balance in their life. We help them best by supporting their physical needs, their emotional needs, and the needs they have to accept the new identity that grief has given them. www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 7 Spring 2017 As the Seasons Change on your Journey By: Claudette Thomas 10/23/14 SUNSHINE AND SHADOWS Some days there is sunshine and skies of pure blue And I think of the good times ‘tween me and you. Days will go on and turn into years And perhaps there won't be so many tears. You would not have wanted for sadness to reign. Till some day in heaven we'll meet again. I'm here for a reason, perhaps you know why. What is it like, this feeling of grief? I grow braver and stronger as each day goes by. One day I feel fine, a sense of relief Then , like a shadow on a sunny day Tears well up and I don't know what to say. Through sunshine and shadow I'll try every day To make my life better in some meaningful way Grief is a longing for someone held dear. A wish for that closeness no longer here. As time has gone on, though I don't know why. There are days upon days I don't even cry. Then, out of the blue that shadow appears And I find once more I am close to tears. May you have new experiences in your life as Spring blooms around you Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 8 Spring 2017 A Special Thank You Without you we would not be Companions on a Journey God Bless you for truly making a difference COJ Original Board: Linda Sullivan: 2007 Co-Executive Director Margaret Kast: 2007 Associate Director (Deceased February 2017) Russ Pennavaria Steven Sullivan Former Board Members: Tom Kanoza Amy Merritt Linda Bauer Former Board Presidents: Pat Hemmings Scott Gilliam Ron Beerman Staff: Michael Munafo Ann Marie Kahwaty-Bogan, LISW ACSW Child Development Director Current Board Members: Dena Moulton: Office/ Bookkeeper Will Kutcher: President Faith Nicolet: Bereavement Specialist Ryan Butt: Vice President Cheryl Borland: Secretary A person’s most useful asset is not a Chris Winiarski Debbie Heidrich head full of knowledge, Jane Irwin Michael Smith Mike Munafo But a HEART full of LOVE, Tom Kanoza Teen Ambassador: Rosie Bacon Young Adult Ambassador: and a EAR ready to LISTEN, and a HAND willing to HELP others. VOLUNTEER IN SOME WAY Phillip Bryant Advisory Board: Anna Frantz, LISW Dr. Sharon Phillips, Psycholo gist John Dorger, M.Ed. Ret., School Psychologist Scott Gilliam, Lawyer Seasons of Grief Newsletter Special Thank You: Chesterwood Retirement Community and their residents for making Bears and Healing Hearts for the children we are called to serve www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 9 Spring 2017 A Special Thank You Without you we would not be Companions on a Journey God Bless you for truly making a difference Volunteers Facilitators: Alita Gardon Ana Radcliff Caitlyn Russell Carol and Jim Jackson Debbie Allman Delores Thames Donna and Phil Hart Gail Sullivan Jane Early Jim Trousdell Joaquin Crespo Kathleen Shearer Kathy Nydick Margo Leeker Peg Hanley Walt Clements Winky Clements Anna Frantz Carla Brenner Cindy Hertzel Faith Nicolet Fran Siegel John Dorger Julie Leonard Lois Fischer Paddy Ward Pat Hemmings Patricia Buckley Scott Stewart Tom Kanoza Tracy Loyd Grady UC Interns BSW: Megan Hesser Sarah Sweeney Social Outreach: Carla Brenner : Lunch Bunch Debbie Heidrick, Jane Irwin, Laurie McKenna: Meet Up Widowed New Adventure Group Russ Pennavaria: Dinner Group Community Outreach: Bre Wolterman Seasons of Grief Editor / Community Outreach: Winky Clements Meg Marie Atkinson Seasons of Grief Newsletter Thank You to those who have provided us with a space to meet which brings Hope to the Bereaved St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church Bill Lendl of Raymond James Indiana Wesleyan Companions on a Journey Wish List A Bereavement Center * Committee Members * Counselors * Development Director * Donors & Sponsors * Event Planner * Facilitators * Fundraising * Grant Writer * Social Workers * Volunteers * Volunteers for The Gala * Sponsors for Meals or Snacks for schools * Volunteers for The Golf Outing Card Stock * Gift Cards to area stores or restaurants * Gift Cards: Michaels, Hobby Lobby, Kroger’s, Walmart, Target, Meijer, Amazon etc. for supplies * New Printer Ink * White Paper www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 10 Spring 2017 COJ Teen Connection Contributed by: Rosie Bacon Companions on a Journey (COJ) is an organization that has held a large place in my heart for the past four years. Entering Mount Notre Dame High School as a freshman, I reluctantly joined COJ’s Grace Group, not knowing what to expect and feeling self-conscious about my grief. Sheila Munafo-Kanoza greeted me with open arms, and Grace Group has served as a home for me ever since. At Mount Notre Dame High School, seniors are required to design and implement a Capstone Project. Each student must choose a local non-profit organization, and lead a unique service project that will benefit that organization. First, Sheila and I collaborated with Chesterwood Village in West Chester to create “Making Bears with Rosie.” We worked with the grieving residents of Chesterwood Village to create handmade bears for grieving children. These residents also handmade over 600 plush hearts to be given to each student in COJ’s Mending Hearts Programs. As a result COJ began Healing Hearts Group for bereaved residents of Chesterwood Village, which meets on the 3rd Monday of the month. Second, I became the 2017 Teen Ambassador for the organization. As the Teen Ambassador I have become the voice for other grieving teens who may not be ready to speak up yet. I spoke on behalf of one of these grieving teens at Companions on a Journey’s All Star Gala this past November. Additionally I contributed a video segment featuring how COJ has benefitted me. Third, I spoke about COJ’s influence on my life in order to compete for a $10,000 Power of the Purse Grant from the West Chester Women’s Club. COJ did receive this grant. I am honored to share my project with the community because of the major influence Companions on a Journey has had on my life. Rosie with a bear that will get shared with a grieving child. Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 11 Watch for COJ 2017 events this year 3rd. Annual Golf Outing Glenview Golf Course Aug .11th 5th Annual “All Star Gala” ONLY $5 a Pig Celebrating 20 years Pigs goes directly to COJ) Nov. 11th (All proceeds from sale of Register now at Piggestraffle.com 1st. Prize: $5K to winner & $5K to the charity COJ 2nd. Prize: Toyota Prius 2 yr. Lease Hope, Strength and Healing, Grief Retreats Oct 2017 Child Grief Awareness Day 3rd. Prize: Cinti Getaway Weekend Experience, value $1,500 Nov . 19 Pig drop is Friday, May 5th. 2017 You do not need to be present to win Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 12 Spring 2017 How Do I Celebrate my Loved Ones Birthday ? ****************************************************************************** As a widow, there are certain dates that you anticipate. One of them is your spouse’s birthday. You always feel the need to do something to remember them by keeping their spirit alive in some capacity. My husband Patrick’s first birthday in Heaven was a mere 25 days after he passed away. For that first birthday, I decided to get a Bre Wolterman tattoo of a special saying my husband and I had together. Then his second birthday in Heaven came around, and getting a tattoo every birthday didn’t seem like a viable option! A few months ago, I met a friend through Companions on a Journey, Debbie Steel, who lost her son. She told me about the way they honored her son on his birthday: they had family and friends do an act of kindness in his memory . Coincidentally, I was the recipient of one of those acts of kindness! I instantly loved the idea. So a few days before Patrick’s birthday, I put out a post on Facebook asking people to do an act of kindness in his memory to pass on the kindness and service that Patrick exhibited in his life (as a firefighter). I also asked that people share their acts of kindness so we could know about all the great things being done. We used hashtag #passitonforpatrick. For anyone unfamiliar with hashtags, when someone posts using it, you can do a search of that hashtag and all of the posts come up. What could have been a day of sadness turned into a day of positivity. Almost a month later, I still see people passing on the acts of kindness. Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 13 Spring 2017 Individual/Family Grief Support & Mentoring Mending Hearts Provides peer support for children, 4 - 18 yrs old and families experiencing the loss of a loved one. Young Widowed, & Living Again Widowed Groups Hope and Healing after a Suicide Loss These groups meet the needs of the various widowed losses. This group is designed to assist any adult who has had a loved one die by suicide. Meetings: 2nd and 4th Thursday at St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish. Meets Sept May. Meetings: 2nd & 4th Wed. of the month, 7–9 pm Call for Locations St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish, Liberty Twp. or Indiana Wesleyan Bereaved Parent Group Perinatal Neonatal Loss This group is designed for any parent who has suffered a miscarriage or death of a child from birth to teens. This group is designed for any parent who has suffered the death of a child, no matter the age at death Meetings:1st & 3rd Wed of the mth, 78:30pm. Meets Once in July, and no group in August. St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish Call for scheduled times. 513-870-9108 Meetings: 1st Tues of the month, 7-9 pm St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish, Liberty Twp. Grief to Peace This open grief group is offered to you by the Gwen Mooney Funeral Home meeting at two locations Open Grief This group is designed to assist adults who’ve suffered any type of death. Meetings: 2nd Tues of the mth. 7-8:30 pm, St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish, Liberty Twp. Young Adult Meetings: 3rd Monday’s of the mtg 7-9 pm 8857 Cincinnati-Dayton Rd Suite 002 WC. 3rd Tuesday of the month @Spring Grove 4th Tuesdays of the month @Oak Hill Tri -County location RSVP for this 513-853-6856 Children and Teens in Grief Ongoing School Program This program provides ongoing support and crisis response to bereaved children and teens to 30+ schools on a monthly basis. COJ meets a child on their grief journey, and supports them through graduation. SERVICES: Grief educators Grief consultants Crisis response and intervention teams Community education Speaking engagements Seasons of Grief newsletter Grief brochures Seasons of Grief Newsletter Articles and periodicals Book of collected articles Conferences and retreats Individual mentoring Library of sources Condolence letters to newly bereaved www.companionsonajourney.org Parent Sessions Postvention to Suicide Social and outreach groups Grief Training Direct mailings to professionals and bereaved Teacher and Staff Trainings 513-870-9108 Page 14 Spring 2017 The following have provided support to Companions on a Journey Grief Support, Inc. by donating meeting space sponsorships, and/or supplies for our Children’s Mending Hearts and Teens-in-Grief Programs. Their generous support helps us to provide our services, free of charge. Help us in thanking them for their support. Seasons of Grief Newsletter www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Page 15 Spring 2017 Companions on a Journey goes into 32 k-12 schools facilitating 33+ groups providing 600 children and teens with ongoing support through their graduations and needed Crisis Response Adena Cherokee Planes Junior Lakota East HS and LE Freshman Van Gorden Wyandot Heritage Lakota West HS and LW Freshman Woodland Ridge Junior Liberty Junior Dater Western HS ST. IGNATIUS LOYOLA SCHOOL Garfield Hamilton City Schools - Fairwood Elementary & Intermediate Schools Highland Crawford Woods Riverview Middletown Middle School Seasons of Grief Newsletter Bridgeport Elementary Scarlet Oaks High School www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108 Companions on a Journey Grief Support 8857 Cincinnati Dayton Rd. Suite #002 West Chester, OH 45069 NONPROFIT ORG. U.S. POSTAGE PAID HAMILTON, OH 45011 Permit No. 241 OPEN TO ALL WHO GRIEVE COMPLIMENTS OF St. Maximilian Kolbe Parish 5720 Hamilton Mason Road Liberty Township, OH 45011 SOCIAL EVENTS for WIDOWS & WIDOWERS RSVP Required—Russ Pennavaria 490-3724 April 21st. 11:30am, Lunch Bunch April 22nd. 6:00pm, COJ Dinner Event, SoHo Japanese Bistro May 13th 6:00pm, Vincenzo's Ristorante Italiano June 17th. 6:00pm, Rib City Grill Join to get info to your email — meetup.com/Companions-on-a-Journey-COJ Seasons of Grief Newsletter To share a story on how COJ has helped you. please E-mail to: Tom Kanoza [email protected] www.companionsonajourney.org 513-870-9108
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